Losing people

There are there people in my life who passed away within the last few months, and each time, I never knew the last time I saw them was going to be the last time.

The first one was my dear grandmother. She'd fallen, and she was supposed to be fine. She was going to need rehab, but that wasn't uncommon in older people. I saw her at the hospital, and I told her I'd see her soon, but she suddenly had some major complications which left her brain dead. I saw her before her body's life ended, but she was already gone.

The next person was Carol's husband Walt. I knew he had cancer, but I had no idea it was as bad as it was. I would have liked to have said goodbye. Carol told me he was shouting "Noooo" as he was passing. He didn't want to leave yet.

The most recent person was Paul, Glen's dad. We knew he was on borrowed time, and we didn't know how much longer he had, but I remember the last time I saw him. He seemed fine. Ever since I'd known him, I knew that he had terminal cancer, but you'd just never know it.

I guess I don't know what someone who knows they are dying should look or act like. With Walt and Paul, they both knew but you'd just never know they knew...I don't think they would have done anything differently if they weren't dying.

So while a clear lesson here is that it's so important to value people when you see them, not taking anyone for granted, another lesson is the frailty of life. We are all going to die, and the world is going to keep on going, but what is going to happen to us?

Do we go to heaven? Do some people go to hell? Is there a heaven and hell?

There is a lot of conflicting information on these subjects. Some people will tell you that if you are a good person and do good things, you will go to heaven. I was raised believing that some of the best people on earth, who do the most good, will go to hell...but at the same time, some murderer can just say they are accepting Christ as their savior, and they will make it into heaven. Can that be?

Even the Bible can seem confusing on such an important topic. The theme seems to be, though, that we are all sinners, and God cannot be in the presence of sin. God sent Jesus to earth to pay the ultimate price for our sins, which was death and separation from God. Then he arose from the dead and was eventually reunited with God in heaven, and now if we believe in God, our sins can be forgiven and we can go to heaven.

What does believing in God mean, though? Do we just have to believe that God exists, and is on the right side of things? Other verses also seem to indicate that we have to admit we are sinners and that our sin separates us from God, but if we acknowledge this and accept the gift that Christ gave us by dying on the cross, we can receive the gift of eternal life.

What about the people who die, and who haven't accepted this gift? I like to think that during the tribulation, everyone will have a chance to choose God again. I need to do more research on that...I just can't imagine that God would create a place like hell, and that people would be banished to spend an eternity there over a misunderstanding or a technicality. Maybe my perception of God is off, but I hope not.

I definitely want to do more research, because I have a lot to learn. In the mean time, I will try to remember the frailty of life, and keep the perspective that this life on earth is so short - the decisions we make are very important, and I need to try to focus on the things that matter the most.